


Canonical Shenanigans (Until They're Not)

by Selene_Dreamwalker



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Naruto-as-Kushina, Other, Time Travel, because why not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 12:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3488396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selene_Dreamwalker/pseuds/Selene_Dreamwalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're losing the battle against the insane Rabbit Goddess. Sasuke uses the Sharingan to get in Naruto's head, Obito and Kakashi abuse Kamui to bend time/space so they have hours to talk without Kaguya's interference. They hash out the plan; time travel. Naruto is the only one with the reserves to go back as far as they need. They don't think of what the consequences will be of traveling to a time wherein you have no body.</p>
<p>Waking up in a body that wasn't his, Naruto half expected, if only because it was him and something had to go wrong. For all his father's looks, he was always more his mother's son. Now he is Uzumaki Kushina. He's his own mother. </p>
<p>Well, shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Canonical Shenanigans (Until They're Not)

They'd lost.

They might still be fighting, but in a battle you literally were, in every way, unable to win, you had already lost.

In a last attempt, Sasuke had used the Sharingan to get into Naruto's head. Kakashi and Obito -newly sane and Konoha/Naruto-loyal thanks Naruto thumping him with Therapy Jutsu and Friendship Speech - followed shortly after, working in tandem to make it stick.

They stood in momentary silence, just absorbing their situation. Their very bleak, very dire situation.

Then Naruto uttered  _The Words_. "Unless we can rewind time, we're sunk."

It clicked, and as one, they all had the same _Idea_.

Now, Sasuke had been hailed as a genius. Which was wrong, he was really just a hard-working prodigy, but he got to be that way by being at least above average in intelligence. Obito had never been stupid, and he'd had genius more or less forced on him by Madara. Kakashi was feared for a damn good reason; mostly for Obito's eye, but it was the mind behind the eye that had put it to use. And Naruto, however much he'd acted like an idiot, had only ever been hyperactive and not taught right; neither of his parents had been dumb, either, and he'd been taught by _Jiraiya_ for three years.

In unison, the three Sharingan users snapped their heads to the blond who, accustomed to being the inadvertent source of insane _Ideas_ that worked against all odds, common sense, and certain Laws of Reality, knew _exactly_ where their collective trains of thought had gone, and rightly looked at them like they'd all decided going round the bend was too simple, so they'd elected to run around it in emulation of Maito Gai. "You're all crazy people and I don't think this will work. _Me_. _I_ don't think this will work. _I_ think we're all doomed."

In concert Kakashi and Obito spoke, resolute and grim, "Kamui."

Followed by Sasuke stating, as only a desperate Uchiha could, "Jinchuurikki reserves of chakra."

And Naruto finished, forlornly despite the _Ideas_ this thought had sparked, "Fuinjutsu."

He still thought they were all doomed.

* * *

It worked.

It worked too well.

Naruto ended up in the body of his mother - for God's sake, why his mother and not his father, he was male, why hadn't he ended up in his father's body, was he going to be his own mother?---OH HELL NO - and very much unhappy with that. Also a child of roughly three or four in Uzushiogakure, which was gorgeous beyond description, but was all beside the point.

It was only because of the privacy seals Naruto had slapped onto the walls, ceiling and floor that stopped his parents - grandparents, holy damn - from rushing in at the sound of profuse, profane and earnest cursing.

If he - she, he may as well get used to that and it wasn't like he hadn't spent a few months in the Sexy before, to mess with Jiraiya's head (it had been beautiful. Brain-breaking because the reserves that allowed him to go three months as a teenage girl boggled even Jiraiya's high standards of absurdness) more than anything else - ever saw those three maniacs again she was pranking them so hard they'd have nightmares of pink glitter and purple rhinestones.


End file.
